Love is a phenomenon, a crux one to define or describe not because it is complex or has different shades but because man’s experiences differ. Several youngsters and adults have made concerted efforts to define, some to describe what love is. In all, they each defined it based on their experiences in either the past or present.
What is Complicated?
In the contemporary times, many youth especially, have posted on social networks that their relationship life is COMPLICATED. You must have seen that. Then I ask myself, WHO IS REALLY COMPLEX, THE RELATIONSHIP OR THE PERSON INVOLVED IN IT? Socrates says: “Man, Know thyself!”, but unfortunately many youngsters falling in an out of love today do not know themselves, so they say love is wicked. I object, one of the things love will reveal to you while you are in a relationship is WHO YOU ARE or WHO THE PARTNER IS.
Therefore, if you do not know yourself, you are complicated; if you do not know your choices, you are complicated; if you are emotionally responsive to situations, you are complicated. If you are yet to find your purpose for existence, you are complicated; if you are yet to man up to responsibilities, you are complicated; if you are unstable in your love life because you think something is wrong with your partner, you are complicated.
What is Committed?
Commitment on the other hand “…is an act, not a word” as John Paul Sartee puts it. More so, Paulo Coelho says, “Freedom is not the absence of commitments, but the ability to choose and commit myself to what is best for me.” The aforementioned, I realise that one of the reasons many people are not committed is because they have not found VALUE in what they do. They have been in the relationship, but they cheat, lie, keep secrets, take breaks often to clear their head, try out what it will mean to explore some areas their partners are not given in to and all the rest, because they have not found VALUE.
Without commitment, you do not have a plan for yourself, future and other lives entrusted into your care. In fact, committing yourself to one person forever can be tasking, herculean and sacrificing, yet its fruits are comforting and fulfilling.
Do you know? As Peter F. Drucker proposes, “Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes, but no plans.” Have you been into someone and the best you enjoyed are hopes, promises (empty ones anyway), daydreams, and that feeling that leaves goose pimples on your body? However, nothing meaningful to look forward to, nothing to challenge your self-improvement and growth so you become better. That is because there is no commitment.
On a final note
Well, as a youngster, I want to submit the following on love, complications and commitment:
Love is only a fragment of relationship but love is not enough. Yet love should teach commitment. Commitment should teach that one takes the life and relationship of/with partner a priority. Priority should mean that he/she is very much involved in your life, being carried along means to develop and grow together in intimacy. Intimacy should be fuelled by love and commitment.
Practically engage the above and see your relationship blossom. I awesomely believe you have had this article worthwhile reading and learning. Kindly apply them to your life and give us a feedback via comments and sharing. I am obliged to you!
Writer: Boluwatife Olugbemiga