THE THINGS YOU CAN’T CHANGE
I grew up being the last child of three and as the only girl I lived like a boy. No! I wasn’t a tomboy okay? But growing up with my brothers gave me this tenacity and vigour that my parents couldn’t just comprehend. My mum taught me independence coupled with hard work and since she happens to be the closest to me, she was and is still my best friend.
I told you I was strong earlier right? But my emotions betrayed me most times though, cause honestly, my heart was as fragile as can be.
I cried at every little uproar. I despised quarrels and I avoided every atmosphere that announced it. I soon found myself amongst the crowd where I had to stand tall and portray what I grew up learning at home. But trust me, the courage to do it wasn’t there. I lacked focus at a point in my life, because I felt I could blend easily and be like others; though my lifestyle and authenticity differed from theirs. I couldn’t help but flow with the dynamics and soon I was falling out, drifting apart and confused.
I questioned every one of my mistakes, blamed myself for every wrong thing, my friends influenced some of my decisions. The first 3 years of college rendered me almost inconclusive. The whole story changed one day. I retrieved an article I wrote years back and read it. I was indirectly talking to myself through those papers and was touched cause I could remember the very reason I wrote that article. I realised I couldn’t change my past, I can’t change my personality, but my choices and decisions can be changed. I became strong over again, even though it was so hard. I got back on track and realised how beautiful my life really was without faking it. I was enough, I concluded.
I’m proud of every tear because they made me who I am today. I’m grateful for everything I had to go through, no bitterness really. It was my choice to stay happy and sane, especially when I find the way to my knees to pray for strength. Even now when I’m wrong, it’s so easy to accept and right my wrongs.
Hey, I don’t know who needs to hear this but listen, you’re strong and capable. You’re enough and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Like I always say, be you, everyone’s taken. Let everyone know you for who you are; the silly you, the bright you, the introverted you, whatever. Don’t lower your self-esteem for anyone. No! Let them know your stand. Let them question you, it’s none of your business. You’re full of life. Be kind to yourself. Embrace your faults with love and accept you. You’re human and imperfect okay and your biggest fan is you, cause when everyone leaves, you’re left alone to yourself.
Learn to be proud of every one of your decisions; knowing that if you fail, you can always come right up to do it again.
It’s true we can’t change our past, but we can change the present and influence our future right? Be the best version of yourself. Be candid about your ideas and make it count. It’s never too late to start again, cause you’re enough.
Writer: Anase Momoh