Gina simply hates herself. Severally, she attended a lot of conferences and listened to many speakers talk about self-love, self-discovery, self-confidence and others but she still couldn’t summon love for who she was. She hated the fact that she was skinny, she had no curves and her low self-esteem was conspicuous. Life had been horrible, her low paying job and backstabbing friends… Her head was always hung low and she had absolutely no luck with men. She had tried to love herself but it seemed not to be working.
I was once like Gina. I had problems with the fact that everything about me is smallish. My friends in secondary school had nicknames for my small size. My university mates were not left out too. As a result, I held myself back from a lot of things. I preferred to stay in my comfort zone than take risks. I would rather sit back and feign ignorance than come out with boldness to speak. I had to deal with negative mindsets, thoughts and a stagnant mind.
There are a lot of people who have issues with loving themselves too. They have tried so hard but it is not working, they have hoped that it will get better but it doesn’t seem to. No one wants to hate who they are or find reasons not to have confidence in themselves but it is an everyday struggle. Some people overcome it and some don’t, they have to deal with it all their lives.
The question is how do you deal with this problem? How exactly do you begin to see yourself as a person of worth and value?
• The first thing is to make up your mind to build your self-confidence. Building self-confidence does not happen on a whim, you have to keep working on yourself, you need to believe that you can do a lot of things even when it seems like you can’t.
• Another thing you need to do is to find yourself. There are things you can do better than anyone. There are things you’d do and feel like you are in your natural environment. Nothing is too small or too big for you. Find out what you do best and start working on it. This would help you to build your self-confidence.
• The next thing you should do is to confess positivity to yourself. Every time you find yourself relapsing into the world of negativity, pull yourself out, and find all the good reasons why you are who you are. Wear positivity as sleeves and your confidence like a crown. The more positive thoughts you have, the more positive you become.
• Find a stress reliever. There are a lot of things you can do when you feel sad, stressed, or down. For some, it’s dancing, for others, it’s music. Find out what works for you and utilize it well.
• Love yourself. None of this would work if you don’t decide to love yourself. Love yourself, love, who you are right now. Celebrate yourself, celebrate your little beginnings. No one can love you better than yourself. Everyone has their unique abilities and talents. You need to start loving your height, your weight, your abilities even when you think they are ordinary compared to other people. Don’t you ever compare yourself with others, we are all different in our own little way.
That you have problems doesn’t mean it is the end of the world, keep working on yourself, one day you will realize you are better than who you used to be. Find people who can help you, people who you can talk to and will support you while you go through this phase. And no matter how hard it might seem, never stop loving yourself.
Writer: Empress_writes (Esther Ayoola)