I’ve dialled his number over a hundred times, he’s not answering. He’s probably with his mistress. Should I leave the house, my kids will bring in friends that’d steal my expensive jewellery. I’ve not seen Rosie since last week, she’s definitely planning to stab me in the back. That eatery looks odd, I’m certain they add poison to their food… Unconsciously, we imprison ourselves dwelling on issues that are not as gigantic as they appear. Are you aware your assumptions can cage you for as long as you choose to remain a victim?
Having studied what triggers assumptions, I’d like to draw the conclusion that people with trust issues and low-self esteem are more vulnerable. I’d explain! Studies have shown that people who feel unloved and unaccepted tend to spend more time with themselves. As a result, they soak themselves in all sorts of imaginations and often times press further to validate them.
A lonely housewife cooks up a story about her husband in her head, she moves further to investigate by going through his phone, she glances through his messages and notices he chats with a particular woman every day. The spirit behind the quest didn’t push her to check further. Well, all she needed to confirm was if a strange woman existed. She dumps the phone disappointed and instantly begins to picture all sorts of things her husband would have done with the ‘supposed’ girlfriend. She accepts she’s in a big mess and instead of clarifying her doubts, she begins to misbehave. She ignores her duties, fast-forward to when things are already bad, she confronts her husband and to her greatest surprise, she finds out the lady is her hubby’s distant cousin who needed his help urgently and probably felt the need to chat him up every day to get what she wanted from him quickly. Too bad, a huge gap already exists in her marriage and her husband is already nursing thoughts of getting a divorce. How stupid do you think she is?
So many of us are confronted with this monster, assumption and we have allowed great opportunities pass by us. We’ve lost good relationships, connections, blessings… because of our inability to relax and be positive. I had to deal with coming up with absurd assumptions and I didn’t realise how much harm it was doing until close relatives and friends affirmed it. Severally, I thought everyone didn’t like me and it framed up a new me, I started acting irrational. I’d get angry at anyone and everything just seemed to piss me off. Oh well, I was called to order before I went crazy.
The message of this piece?
• Clarify before you fly into conclusions.
• Learn to say no to negative ideas.
• When you’re bored, find something to keep yourself busy.
• Before you assume, think twice!
• Always ask questions to be double sure.
• Love yourself, love life and be free with everyone.
• Understand you cannot be loved by all, hence, it’s ok to be detested by some people.
• Your perception of any matter is determined by your beliefs. Be willing to unlearn and relearn.
Guess what? We are all guilty! The good news is: you can be free if you are willing.
Writer: Damilare Ojo