Source: Empress_writes (Ayoola Esther)
Have you ever wondered why two friends or partners will have a misunderstanding and will never like to see each other again? A lot of us have burned bridges all in the name of being right or being the innocent one. Some of us have put an end to relationships because of disagreements with the other person.
Late last year I had a fallout with a friend. Prior to that, we were very good friends, we knew a lot about each other and I never felt what happened to us could ever happen. When the fallout happened, I realized we never really knew each other as we thought. There were a lot of things we didn’t talk about at all, expectations, boundaries, and a whole lot of other things.
I was hurt so bad that I couldn’t believe what had happened, but as time passed and we grew farther away from each other I began to learn more about friendships and relationships with people. I have realized since then that there is more to relationships with people than just being friends.
I can remember a lot of people I’ve lost touch with, some of these people were very good friends with me when we were younger. Isn’t it worrisome that a lot of us have broken relationships like this one? Every day people lose friends, everyday people fallout of relationships with their spouses, everyday people grow distant from each other.
Burning bridges has become an everyday thing, nobody wants to accept fault, the other person is also refusing to take responsibility. The thing is, having relationships with people is a deliberate choice each one of us has to make. We can decide if we will put real efforts into our connection with people or choose to deal with people superficially.
My friend and I never spoke for months. Funny, because we talk almost every day before the incident. I understood that he had a different approach to things. After a while, we got in touch again, we resolved our differences and we still talk once in a while. It is not as much as we did before but now we understand better. We also understood that it was better to be friends than shun each other and we helped each other out once in a while.
One thing we should understand is that we will always be humans and we have limitations. It is true that there are some relationships that cannot be repaired. There are others that are better left broken, but we have a number of them that can still be redeemed. Now the question is what do we do in order to avoid burning bridges?
The most important thing to do is try.
Try to talk, I mean hold a real and serious conversation with the other person. Try to reach out to them, try to make things better. It is better to try to heal some relationships than burn them forever.
I want you to understand that while it is necessary to burn some bridges and never look back. There are some bridges that should be given a chance. At the end of the day, some of them might be what you need to get to the other side. When relationships go sour, burning bridges is not the next thing to do, finding out what went wrong is.