Humans are social animals and we derive so much pleasure in relating with each other. However, not all friendships go in the right direction. The kind of people you move with will determine how far you will go in life. Take it or leave it, some, if not all of their attitudes will rub off on you. Some people like to think they are principled and not easily influenced but in the long run, they find it difficult to pull out of relationships because they can’t betray the trust of these set of people they move with.
It’s day 14, assess your relationship! Which of your so-called buddies impeded you from prevailing last year? I saw this on Instagram last week and I agree with it: some friends are investments while some are liabilities. This might look insulting but it’s the bitter truth. If you’ve been moving with a particular person for 10years and he/she hasn’t added any value to your life, you need to check it. What’s the point being in a relationship that doesn’t affect you positively (whatever the type of influence is)?
Note: the influence doesn’t have to be monetary. It could be good advice, connects, etc.
I’d give you 5 Red Flags, when you see them, RUN!
1. The TapeWorm Friends: these ones are parasitic in nature and have nothing good to offer. Unknowingly, they get attached to you and surprisingly, you become so close all of a sudden. They suck everything good you have to offer and never benefit you (they steal ideas, get advice, etc.). Let’s say you were 100% progressive when you met them, you’d diminish to 55% by the time you spend 2 to 3 years together.
2. The Serpentine Friends: personally, I think this is worse than the tapeworm friends. These ones are dangerous. They are deceptive in nature, they gain your trust and stab you in the back a million times. They know the right thing to do but will give you wrong information to drag you behind. Sometimes, you’d think they are the best (bestie) but their venom kills faster than that of a viper. They gossip, lie, twist and change anything easily.
3. The Negative Ones: I’d call them “doubting Thomas”. They never see the good in any idea you bring up. They are fearful, weak and not goal-oriented. They like their comfort zone and will want you to stay there with them. Once they notice you are about to pull through, they do everything possible to drag you behind. Sometimes, they don’t do it intentionally but the nature in them makes it easy for them to convince you. Have you been wondering why you are still on the same spot? It’s because you’ve been listening to their advice.
4. The On and Off Friends: they are neither here nor there. Today they are Sheila’s pal, tomorrow, they are Tania’s bestie. You can’t place them anywhere, one minute they are happy with you, the other minute, they are mad at you and you simply can’t place why. They distract people, stay away from them.
5. The Unforgiving Friends: they always hold whatever you do against you. Sometimes, they pretend to be cool with you but on the inside, they have loads of bad things planned for you. Get them angry over something little and nurse the repercussion for years.
What will be the case of a person who has friends who have all these attributes? I believe such an individual will be like a ceiling fan, going round in the same direction. If you really want to make a mark in this decade, you’ve got to separate yourself deliberately from the aforementioned list of friends. It’s your life after all, let them say you are proud. Sooner or later, people will understand.
Peradventure you have these bad identities, it’s time to drop them. Make conscious efforts to be a better person to yourself, your family and friends.
Task: do an appraisal of all your friends and rate their inputs. If there’s nothing good, change your circle!
Kindly share this article on your social media platforms by copying the link. Someone needs to see this.
Writer: Damilare Ojo