People change when they believe it is beneficial to them so, don’t impose. I once had a friend with questionable attributes. Of course, as a good friend, I was not happy about it. Everyday I said to myself “I have to talk to him“. Each time I tried to bring up the topic, the fear of how he would react to it would dampen my spirit and make me keep my mouth shut. I continued to battle with this feeling until I finally developed the courage to talk to him and I was so ready for whatever he had to say. I tried so hard to avoid stepping on his toes so I sugarcoated words. Trust me, it did not work.
After the first attempt to convey my message and prove my point, I felt so disappointed and decided to do it forcefully. You should know what happened next. We had a very hot argument and at the end of the day, I could not achieve my aim. After ruminating on the issue, I realised my manner of approach was totally wrong and when minds are closed, even the clearest presentation of the facts can never open them. You have to study the individual before bringing up the issue.
People respond to change differently. Some may respond with fear while others will respond with denial. It is not your duty to change people, as a matter of fact, you can not force it. People change because they want to and not because you want them to. Funny but true, people change themselves when they get sick and tired of themselves. Have you ever reached that point in your life where you realise you have issues and you need to address them before it gets too late? That’s the point where change begins to take effect.
The fact still remains that we cannot change anyone else’s behaviour and we cannot make another person what or who we want him/her to be. If a person has not admitted that his/her actions are irrational, there is nothing you can do about it. All you can do is pray for them to realise they really need what you are presenting to them.
After some years, I bumped into this friend of mine and saw a new person entirely. He was so calm and different. I could not believe what I saw, so I decided to look for trouble just to be sure he had truly changed. To my greatest surprise, he was a brand new man. He told me it cost him something very precious to him and he realised there was a need for him to change his habits.
Now, rather than trying to change people, focus on improving yourself and maybe, just maybe they will see reasons. Give those around you reasons to change with your lifestyle. Stop being judgemental when you have loads of issues too. Work on yourself and see if they would not do the same. People can embrace change from your attitudes.
CHECK MY NUGGETS FOR INSPIRING QUOTES: https://myinnerawesomeness.com/daily-inspirations/
Another important thing to do is to change your perspective and the way you view things would definitely change. Changing your perspective does not mean you should settle for less or tolerate any form of abuse or disrespect. Be open to different ideas about handling situations. Please understand no one can be like you and when you expect too much from people, you end up getting disappointed.
If you fall into the category of people trying to change those around them forcefully, I want you to understand you cannot do it all by yourself. The individual must be actively involved. Acceptance is very key for change to happen, you cannot impose it. The earlier you understood, the better.